Hiya I’m back!!! Just before I get into this post, I thought I’d mention that I recently started a Youtube channel! I upload every Sunday (and maybe have some surprise videos as and when) so chances are, you’ve missed a cheeky upload! Please go and subscribe and show me love because it’s scary business!
I’m currently writing this post with tears upon tears streaming down my face. I’m listening to All Time Low in an attempt to lift my mood and get rid of these toxic emotions but that’s just not working.
I think it’s time that I got in touch with my emotions. I have to feel the hurt sometimes. I’m getting over a break up I didn’t want, I lost a huge bunch of friends this year through no fault of my own – I am allowed to feel sad. It’s just overwhelming.
Truth is, the reason that started this little meltdown is simple and minor. Someone opened my message and didn’t respond. I bet you’re thinking, “oh god Sophie… really?! You’re having a meltdown over that?” Strictly speaking, no I’m not but technically, yes I am.
You ever bottle up issue after issue after issue and just let it simmer in your brain and heart for a lil while. Soon enough, one minor thing comes along and knocks that bottle over and all of those issues are actually really explosive and this bottling up experiences ends up with issue after issue going fucking everywhere and coming out all at once? Yeah that’s what happened.
I bottle up too much. I coped with the break up in some round about way, by putting it in that nifty little bottle I have. I coped with losing friends by putting them in that very same bottle. I knew that it would all come and bite me in the face but I didn’t know when, and that was enough for me because who actually wants to deal with their problems head on? Not me, that’s who.
So this event has thus concluded with tears coming out of my eye balls and a momentous headache that is probably actually a migraine but I don’t want to be too extra in an already extra post.
But I do know that this will soon pass. I don’t mean or want to sound cliche but it’s true. I will not feel like this for long and strictly speaking, I bet it won’t last longer than a week tops. Only time will tell, I guess.
I apologise for this post. I just needed to get my emotions out in one way or another other than me just bottling up this meltdown and starting the impending mood of another one.