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It’s a natural human instinct to want to make the people around you unbelievably happy and to please them. However, never ever saying the dreaded word “nope” can have serious issues on your own well-being. So, what’s the magic way to say “no” without accidentally killing everyone around you? Honestly? I don’t know but I have a lil list in my head that I follow when I try and say no, so I thought I’d write it down for you guys, if you struggle!
We’re taught from a very young age that “no” symbolises rejection and is necessarily a bad thing. It makes the person who you are saying no to feel bad and overall is a bad thing. It is very simple and incorrect to think that if you say no then you are a bad person or an inconvenience. You saying no will not come back to you as a person.
So, how to remember hen you’re in the moment, that it’s okay to say no sometimes and you don’t have to say yes to everything to make people happy.
#1 – Take time to make your decision.
You are under no demand to say yes or no straight away. You can literally say “can I have a day or two to think about it?” No one is going to bite your head off if you say that, and if they do they aren’t good friends! I definitely have the habit of just saying yes to fill in the silence but this way, this buys times so you can think if you genuinely want to to the thing or not. When you’re being asked, if almost in some sort of hot seat so thus, under pressure. Never make decisions under pressure.
#3 – Be honest.
Just tell them you don’t want to do it. I know this is easier said than done but just making excuses like “I have to help my mother out doing this thing” or “I promised to walk the dog” aren’t going to help you out. You’ll be caught out in a lie or you’ll be expected to make an excuse every time you say no – both by the person asking you and also yourself. Just say no and that be the end of it.
#3 – Cushion your response.
There are of course ways to say no that sound less harsh than “no.”. I know I said “just say no and that be the end of it” in my previous point but hear me out. There are ways you can say no without sounding so blunt or harsh. Offer a solution to their question. For example, if they want someone to cover them babysitting, tell them that they can ask someone else or offer alternative solutions on where the baby can be such as, with them. You don’t have to apologise for your no though, that just reinforces the idea that you HAVE to do something for someone.
#4 – Use body language to show conviction.
Communication is just as much about how you say something as it is what you say. Make eye contact, stand tall. Speak clearly. They’ll understand your no a lot more.
Saying no is hard, but knowing how to do it is crucial, and sometimes even liberating.