Hiya everyone! Just before I get into this post, I thought I’d mention that I recently started a Youtube channel! I upload every Sunday (and maybe have some surprise videos as and when) so chances are, you’ve missed a cheeky upload! Please go and subscribe and show me love because it’s scary business!
When you’re struggling with mental health issues, your whole world comes crashing down. You’re at the end of the line, struggling so fucking much. The last thing that you ever thing will happen is that you will lose friends but boy does it happen.
It can happen a multitude of ways. You can simply not be the fun person they loved to be around so they leave you in the dirt. You can just drift apart like many people do when you’re growing up and becoming the person you are meant to be and your mental health just happens to be there. Or you could lose friends by simply putting yourself first.
The latter is the most heartbreaking in my opinion.
I’ve lost a ton of friends from doing just this. It’s quite sad because they haven’t directly done anything wrong to me other than affect my mental health (which arguably is something wrong) BUT what I’m saying is they haven’t beat me up or threatened to murder me..
One thing I’ve realised over the last few years is I’ve gotta put me first. Now this is harsh, but regardless of how much that person is struggling themselves, I need to put me first. At the end of the day, that’s not my issue. That sounds incredibly horrible of me to say but surely you guys somewhat agree?
If my friends are struggling then fair enough, I will be there for them but if that is jeopardising my recovery and progress, then that’s something I’ve got to think about.
I have a ton of friends who help me and I am so so beyond grateful but if I thought for any second that they were putting themselves at risk for the benefit of me, I’d feel so guilty. Hence why I’m starting to notice when I am the person putting themselves at risk too.
With hindsight in hand, I’ve ruined myself a great deal for a ton of people. Now I’m not stating that that is their fault at all. I’m aware it’s mine and I have to learn to say no to helping people sometimes.
I feel like this is such a rocky area in mental health talk but let me know what you think!