My Honest Feelings About 13 Reasons Why

Hiya everyone! I wasn’t going to do one of these. When I saw that the season was being renewed, I was like nope nope nope you can fuck off, but I’ve decided against that. I know everyone is doing these type of videos/posts to death and I bet you’re all sick of them. But I wanted to give my two cents because I did one last year – My two cents on 13 Reasons Why. Trigger warnings for suicide, rape, self harm and all that jazz.

I hear a lot of people moaning about people affected by the atrocity that is 13 Reasons Why – a Netflix original series. And it baffles me that people are moaning about someone being triggered or affected by a tv show that poorly portrays bullying or mental illness.

Whilst YES I am fully aware that they do provide trigger warnings. I am so unbelievably grateful that they provide trigger warnings, they are definitely useful. Alas, that’s not the point. They are useful for shows that contain scenes of insinuated suicide, not shows that contain graphic as fuck scenes of someone cutting their wrists open and bleeding to death in a bathtub. Trigger warnings for that kinda thing should be a little more detailed than “oh yeah.. this show definitely may have scenes that viewers may find upsetting”. That may cover their backs yes, but it’s not detailed enough. What exactly are you warning us for?

This TV show is about mental illness and you’re telling me that someone who is struggling with a mental health condition will not watch it? You’re also telling me if a major movie company brought out a film about women’s rights and the atrocities that they went through, that women wouldn’t be like “uhhhh maybe I would watch this and this affects me!”. You’re telling me that an LGBT+ movie would not be watched by LGBT people? Exactly what I thought. You can’t just fucking say, “if you know it’s going to affect you, why watch it?” because if someone makes a fucking movie about something I’ve been through, I am bloody well going to watch it.

Ever heard of self-gaslighting? Causing yourself pain or forcing yourself to struggle. AKA triggering yourself. Mentally ill people do this all the fucking time. Not that this is Netflix’s or the shows fault because I am fully aware that’s an issue that only the individual and therapy can solve. BUT maybe they shouldn’t include scenes that literal mental health professionals have advised them to not include. It’s obviously going to trigger people regardless.

I avoided the trigger warnings because I was promised a show that portrayed mental health issues and was groundbreaking. I did not get that. I got a graphic suicide scene that left me physically and mentally frozen for an hour because I couldn’t justify moving or going on with my life in fear that I would do something dangerous to myself. Yes it triggered me that much. Yes, they provide trigger warnings but THAT IS NOT THE REASON WHY MANY MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE ARE UPSET.

The fact that people who have not been affected by this are moaning/having a go at people who this show directly targets and are getting upset over it is fucking dreadful. Wake the fuck up. Wake up enough to realise that this show is a shit show. It shouldn’t have even been aired. Be grateful you aren’t affected by this show.

Yes I am aware that it gets mental health talked about for a total of five minutes – big woop. It gets people of all backgrounds speaking up along the lines of “we need to stop bullying” or “suicide isn’t the answer guys!!” but after that it goes back to “ughhhh I’m so bipolar!!” “ughhhhh I’m so ocd I love my room being cleaned” or “I have chronic anxiety because of a damn test”. It does absolutely fuck all for advocating against the stigma that is the mental health stigma. So actually I don’t apologise that I’m not exactly thrilled by this tv show being remade into a second season.

Trigger warnings or not, it’s a fucked show. End of story. As someone who has gone through every single fucking thing that Hannah went through in the first season, I thought I’d get a voice. Instead I got mockery for a girl who killed themselves after being sexually assaulted and bullied throughout most of her high school life. I got memes. I got no voice nor did I get support.

Before I end this blog post, I’d like to say that I am fully aware that a few people have stated that this show has helped them. Good for you. Actually, I’m so happy for you. I don’t understand but sometimes you don’t understand all coping mechanisms for mental illness, that’s fine. But I am allowed to voice my opinion on something that is so close to home for me. I’m allowed and I will do just that. I personally feel that triggers are subjective and fair enough it may not trigger some people struggling with mental health issues, but please don’t erase the struggles and pain that this show has given some people.

exit

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just a girl who loves spreading positivity

29 thoughts on “My Honest Feelings About 13 Reasons Why

  1. Thank you for saying what I have yet been able to write (publicly). That suicide scene from 13 Reasons Why is still haunting me. And yes, I knew I shouldn’t have watched it… yet I did. Too bad I can’t unsee/unfeel it. Thanks for getting it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s completely okay, I’m glad you agree with me! I probably shouldn’t have watched it too but like I said, I was promised a fab tv show with fab mental health representation and it upsets me that I didn’t get that!

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  2. What you see cannot ever be unseen. I haven’t watched the show, nor do I have a curiosity to watch it. This post just clarify why I don’t want to see it. Shows of this magnitude glorified profit, does not help people understand mental health. Although, many experience these types of mental health issues, this isn’t the way to “cure” the effects. People watch because we don’t have self control and this show can cause a negative reaction.

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  3. I 100% agree with this. I’ve seen so many people saying “well if you SH or if you are suicidal you shouldnt watch it bc you’ve been warned its gonna affect you” well no, it’s a show thats MEANT to spread awareness for MH issues, not something that could so easily trigger someone. The warnings should be more obvious in terms of what they’re warning about, i agree that a simple trigger warning isn’t gonna be sufficient when you see Hannah’s graphic death scene and that’s the whole reason im not watching season 2 because the show is a load of bullshit in trying to successfully and positively raise awareness for MH as well as sexual assault like i think is a main theme in season 2

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for agreeing with me! Precisely my point – if it’s meant to spread awareness than obviously people the situation is affecting would be interested! I saw someone tweet “if it’s triggering you, then good” like uhhhhh is that a good thing? Putting people’s lives in danger isn’t a good thing oh my GOD. I really wanna watch season 2 but if it’s anything like the first one, I’ll just get upset

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Someone tweeted and i quote “do not blame the show for your mental health troubles after watching it even though you know what it’s about and how it might affect you” and it got me SO mad because yeah we know what its about but its not our fault the show went to wrong way about spreading awareness!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. omg really?!?! That’s shocking. We aren’t blaming the show at all, we’re just saying maybe the show should have been handled a lot better. It had the opportunity to be decent!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello beautiful.! I hope you’re doing good.🌹

    Reminder: I nominated you for The Mystery Blogger Award and tagged you for ” The Inside My Head Tag”
    I’m waiting for your response.😍
    Xoxoxo.💖

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  5. Even though I haven’t watched the show myself (just didn’t interest me when I first heard about it), what I’ve read about it and seen in the media has all been negative. My opinion seems to level with yours, thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading! I only watched it because it was portrayed as a mental illness tv show and I regret it! I only wanna watch the new season to gain an opinion on that too but ahh idk!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so glad you shared this. I definitely agree that they shoulda given a bit better of a trigger warning, especially for a few specific episodes… I still don’t really know how I feel about 13 reasons why TBH. some of it was just a bit too much & it didn’t feel as though it needed to be actually shown. I didn’t know what self-gaslighting was, so thank you for sharing that as well 💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it has such a potential to be fab and very motivational/moving but it was just too much, for anyone by the looks of things! I didn’t know what it meant until a doctor said I do it a lot haha, never heard of it ever! 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I agree with you that the show did not live up to its expectations in terms of being a show about mental health. I had to watch the first season in bits because it was too heavy to watch entirely in one sitting. I think it definitely should have been marketed differently- the fact that both the rape and the suicide is shown I think is useful for those who underwrite both things because it is purposefully made to be uncomfortable to watch, insinuating just how more ‘uncomfortable’ it is to have something like that happen to you – but in terms of being a show that deals with mental health, I do not think it met that target. I have not seen season 2 yet but from what other people have been saying, I’m not sure I want to. I apologize on behalf of those who should apologize to you for everything that happened to you – nobody should ever have to suffer like Hannah did. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I totally agree. I think it was written with the best idea in mind but it didn’t come across that way in the final piece! Thank you so much, you certainly didn’t need to apologise but I appreciate it xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for this post. It is a perspective that needs to be told. I had thoughts about it’s graphic nature and how some people might react. I am totally sorry it triggered you so hard. I myself haven’t been that triggered by something since ‘Black Rock’ is the 90s, but this certainly hit some strings in me too.
    For me, this show has been surprisingly valuable as a teacher. I teach high school kids and they have all seen it too. It has been a great reference point to show kids how their ‘innocent’ actions can be part of a larger picture that they cannot see. It helps to remind kids that they don’t know the whole story and that people are struggling for reasons they may never understand and that they should be kind. It has helped a lot in this area.
    As for season 2, I think it shows people exactly what happens after a suicide and how the families are left to pick up the pieces and how the individuals deal with the grief in different ways. Also, it is compelling tv for what is currently going on in the states, but that is a separate issue. There are some graphic scenes, one I am still dealing from myself, but it does make good points. If you’re curious, watch it. Although, I am hoping that they don’t turn it into a teen drama, but it looks like it has been set up for that. They made their point, they need to end it. Now they’re just chasing the money…

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    1. I have no qualms with how the basic storyline/plot is beneficial, I think if the show was created ever so differently, it would have been fab! Like how you mentioned it helps students second guess if bullying someone is a good idea (spoiler, never is). That’s what my dad said, that they made so much money on the first season that they are just grabbing as much as they can! Which is not something you want from people who are trying to spread a message about mental health and bullying

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I tried watching the TV show but I’d already read the book and as usual it just doesn’t compare. There is so much more in the book, I recommend reading that instead

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Your post provides a good, generation-specific perspective about this show. You have an engaging style and message that will reach people who would never read a church-lady blog, 🙂 Wherever people read such a message, I’m glad they read it. Suicide is a horrible, horrible thing. Nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

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