Hiya! I just wanted to remind you guys that I’ve started a Youtube channel! A new video is already up so you guys wanna be subscribed to see it! Please be nice to me hahah!
This is probably gonna be a sad one but not on purpose at all. Basically if you didn’t know, then my mom is dead. She died from breast cancer a fair few years ago and I’ve had to grow up being a teenage very quickly and on my own. Of course I had my dad and my brothers but that’s not the same as having a women figure who can help you with periods and “female” body problems ya know?!
I’ve encountered a TON of new facts about grief. I just thought grief was getting over a lost love one but it is so much more than that.
Grief doesn’t really have a “get over” date. It can arguably get better but it never goes away. It’s like a bad smell that just doesn’t go away. It can disappear and then come running back for no reason at all. It’s almost been four years since my mother passed away but I can still find myself balling my eyes out over some silly things that happened when we were together. Like I said, it can arguably get better and you can learn to live with the grief and the aching in your heart.
You might be filled with tons upon tons of regret when they first pass away. You’ll question whether you spent enough time with them or if you expressed your love for them more often. This will only eat away at you. Incredibly harsh but they are gone now so there is no point overthinking the whole situation with a bunch of “what if’s”. It will just make you feel so much worse. They know you loved them and you spent enough time with them.
I had such a huge problem with the regret situation. I kept thinking over and over again that I should have stayed at home so much more to just spend time with my mom. I’ve spoke to my dad about this recently and he says that I should stop thinking about that because my mother cherished the time I did spend with her and she wouldn’t have wanted me to lock myself away in home like she had to, just to spend time with her. She would have wanted me to live my life.
Speaking of which, don’t feel guilty for living your life either. At all. Just because they have passed away, doesn’t mean your life is over. It’s far from it. Life goes on and that sounds dreadful but it does. Don’t feel guilty for being happy and moving on with your life. The loved one is always going to be in the forefront of your mind and I get that but they aren’t going to love you any less if you continue to live your life.
It’s fine occasionally thinking about them. It doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling with the grief. I think about my mom probably every day and that’s fine. Don’t feel guilt running through your head if you go a day and don’t feel sad about them no longer being here. It doesn’t mean you don’t care anymore, it just means you’re living.
It’s important to know there are no replacements for your loved one. No one could ever dream of replacing my mother. She was never perfect but who is? She was my mother and I loved her very much. No one is going to replace that hole in my heart.