We Don’t Owe You Shit

I see a lot of people on social media having a moan about people with mental health problems venting on social media. I just want to tell you guys to shut the fuck up.

When I was my illest, I used social media to talk about my problems. I knew I had people around me to talk to but when you are MENTALLY FUCKING ILL, all your logic and rationality goes out the window. To be frank with you, I know I had friends but when I feel low, I don’t think they give a rats ass about me. Therefore, I use social media to talk about problems that I don’t necessarily feel safe enough to talk to actual human beings about.

I struggle from borderline personality disorder and if any of you don’t know what that is, be glad because it’s fucking horrible. As I’ve said in this post, it throws all of your logic out of the window. It’s a very black and white world. You feel worried about people abandoning you so therefore, you don’t talk to people. You feel empty and alone so you don’t talk to people. You feel very intense emotions and sometimes (okay most of the time) have very irrational and intrusive thoughts and therefore you don’t speak to people. To make a few symptoms, I could genuinely go on for days here.

For someone who doesn’t struggle from bpd or any other fucking mental health condition, it may seem unusual that I can’t speak to my friends and family as much as you probably can. It’s truly not fair that you consistently moan and moan about people using social media as a vent. This could lead to them closing themselves off and using no form of release which is not healthy or helpful. Hence why you should stop judging people on their coping mechanisms.

It’s important to consider that the person who you are discouraging from voicing their problems may have been involved in an abusive relationship of any kind – I’m talking a romantic one or just family/friends. They may have been abused due to voicing their emotions and you directly talking down to them is just repeating past events. I know I’m digging to many of you here but it’s true. This could happen. Someone using social media as a vent may be stepping out of their comfort zone ever so slightly due to wanting to move on from an abusive relationship, and an individual having a go at them for the same thing is just gonna push them back.

Moral of this post is, let people talk about things if they want to. We don’t owe you shit. If someone puts something on social media about being sad or triggered, it’s them venting and they don’t have to talk to anyone about why this may be if they don’t want to. They are aloud to be sad and just because they are sad doesn’t mean they have to be silenced.

Quit with the belief that if you don’t have a sound mind that you need to shut up until it’s better. That’s both toxic and senseless. Talk about how sad you are, talk about how happy you are, talk about how much you are struggling and remember, voicing your own problems doesn’t mean you are inviting others into them.

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just a girl who loves spreading positivity

41 thoughts on “We Don’t Owe You Shit

  1. WP has become my place for that. For me, it’s quasi-anon, and quite frankly I’d rather talk about it that way. Usually, folks IRL think I’m attention seeking or whatever. I’d rather not deal with that type of situation.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Preach girly – 100% agree. I was diagnosed with BPD and sometimes it’s easier just to vent out how you’re feeling on social media. It angers me that people feel like they have the right to judge something they don’t and probably never will understand. Well done for saying this xx

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  3. I agree with what you’re saying – that people have the right to voice how they are feeling and what thoughts are going through their head. However, personally, I find that if I’m following people on social media who are constantly tweeting about how terrible their life is and how it will never get better, I find that this brings me down. I want my feed, which I often consume in the morning when I’m getting up or in the evening before I go to bed, to be of a positive nature. I’m not saying this is the case for you or that people cannot rant from time to time, but when people are constantly tweeting out about how bad their life is, it can bring me down and affect my progress in recovering. Hope that makes sense. xx

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    1. Yeah totally get what you mean! What I’m saying is, if you find that to be an issue then you should just unfollow them. No one should be forced to follow someone just because they know them irl or whatever, like I’ve unfollowed so many people from high school because they just weren’t good for my mental health at all. I TOTALLY get what you mean with this, it’s a tricky subject but I still feel like people should be able to use social media as a way to voice their problems if they see fit. I know personally, I find it much easier to tweet about stuff (hence why I have a private twitter) than speak to people because my brain cannot possibly think it’s a safe option to expose myself like that to people directly. I don’t know if that made sense at all hahhaa but it’s perfectly logical in my brain lmfao x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh right definitely! I would never comment on what they’re tweeting like it’s their twitter they can tweet what they like. But I’ve had it a few times where people have confronted me about unfollowing them and it’s a sensitive topic to talk about. It seems a bit rude to tell people you’ve unfollowed them because all they tweet about is how bad their life is. Feel free to disagree with me like this is just my personal opinion. And of course I rant about things at times when I’m angry or sad, I’m talking about all the time. I’m a firm believer that the energy you put out into the world is what will come back to you – so if you’re always putting negative energy out into the world, you will always stay in a negative mindset. x

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  4. My favorite thing is if you even HINT at having a mental disorder you’re forced to sit there while an onslaught of people opinion’s about how you can help yourself comes barreling down at you. Ok, sorry didn’t realize you were my therapist, a licensed psychologist, and also me.

    -Knurly

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I totally agree with you. If someone lands on your posts and doesn’t like the content then they can choose not read on. Why they feel the need to berate you is beyond me. Everyone has a choice – to read or not to read. If one doesn’t like to be brought to their knees by negativity, then as you rightly say – they need to shut the f..k up and move on to posts that uplift them. I feel for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Everyone definitely has a choice. Same with twitter – if you don’t like someone’s tweets, you can unfollow them. You shouldn’t feel and definitely aren’t forced to continue following someone

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  6. I have not seen people complain about it before, but reading this has made me so angry that people do. Why anyone thinks they have a right to dictate the thoughts and words of another person. And most-likely, those uneducated fools who do, probably have their own boring tweets that people have to contend with! x

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much. I feel for you as well. Much love your way and to anyone in this comment sections who struggles with mental health. Nobody will ever have any idea what we go through. Not even our closest friends, and family. The only people that understand are others that have been there. I think that’s a great reason to let your feelings out through your blog. Let it be your journal as you said 💖

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  7. Quite simply when it comes to social media I think: My Facebook, My rules.
    Don’t like it? Feel free to scroll past but I’m going to continue to post when I’m struggling.
    My blog is my ‘safe place’ where I can write exactly what I want.
    Much love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yeah definitely! I tend to portray my Twitter as my safe place so if I want to post about how shit I’m feeling, I will do that. People don’t have to read my posts nor do they have to follow me so I don’t understand why people moan! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Fuck yeah to this! People should feel free to vent any fucking thing they’re going through without fucking retribution or judgment. Fuck those who think otherwise. So good to see this post, don’t fucking stop!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you and well said. That is exactly what I use social media for, having been bullied or abused my entire life and having a degenerative genetic condition (Marfan Syndrome) I am in a very dark place. I have shut out all friends and family precisely because, as you say, its safer than waiting to be betrayed or abused by them. Sad that there are so many haters in the world who feel so uncomfortable being reminded that some peoples lives are crap that they feel the need to tell us to shut up or worse. I hope your future brings you some happiness. Keep on posting and thanks again.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Borderline IS fucking horrible, yes girl, love how straight you put it! 🙌 WordPress is becoming my odd (new) place to vent…people can either read it and have some insight and hopefully a giggle with me at the absurdity, or fuck right off.😂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. i totally agree. i even have a secret fan account with a fake name so i can vent without anyone knowing its me. EVERYONE NEEDS TO GIVE EACHOTHER A BREAK. for me, social media is my only vent sorce, as im not confident enought to talk to my parents about it, and im sure there are many others in the same position as me. i love having this blog, but the hate i get on instagram is just so petty.

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  12. I absolutely love this post. Shaming someone on social media for sharing their human experiences is the same as shaming someone IRL, IMO; it has the same micro-aggressive effects on mental health, anyway. Thank you for writing about this topic!

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  13. Always know that you are not alone and you are very correct, we don’t owe anyone shit! There’s a scroll button and a back button for a reason. Venting feels damn good and there are many who appreciate what is written. I think that shaming or complaining about someone looking for an outlet has issues of their own to work out to be honest. Thanks for sharing your feelings.

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  14. I agree. From the outside looking in, it can be cringy to see people fall apart on social media, but if it makes them feel better, who cares. It’s the same thing as when someone is cutting or says they are thinking of committing suicide and people say they “just want attention.” Of course they do! They need help!

    Anyway, good post. 🙂

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