How To Be Yourself (Even When You Don’t Know Who “You” Is)

Hiya everyone! I thought I’d write a post on how to be yourself because I realise that a lot of people struggle with this and so do I so let’s get straight into it!

1. Realise what you are. Having BPD, I really do struggle with this because I have no bloody clue about who I am or what I love so this is still a difficult one for me. Realise what you like as a person, who you like, what your interests are etc. You need to learn how to accept yourself on you terms and absolutely no one elses.

2. Avoid anyone who doesn’t like your true self. In your entire lifespan you are going to come across people who don’t like how you are and what I just want to say to you is, fuck them. Fuck em all. Okay, not literally but just avoid them. People in this world are destined to just wanna stick to societies norms and will hate anyone who doesn’t so it’s important that you avoid them as and when you can. If you can’t avoid them, just limit your time around them because if you spend a lot of time around negative people, you will become negative.

3. Never stop looking at your strengths, but also your weaknesses. I am the sort of person who always says don’t focus on your weaknesses or bad points because they are just that, bad points. But it is sometimes important because you need to know what you’re good at and what you’re not so good at. It’s important not to compare yourself to others as well because that never ends well.

4. Linking with my previous point, don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison leads to criticising others and that’s not good at all. It leads to you being full of envy and whenever knowing how to be yourself because you’re always comparing yourself to other people and not focusing on just you.

5. Stop caring about how others perceive you. The best way to be yourself is to just do it, without caring about what others think. Some people will like you and others will not. Only allow people’s opinions to come through to you as filter not as a solid thing in your life. If people give you their opinion of you, appreciate it but don’t take it to heart if it’s negative.

6. Treat yourself as your own best friend. It works. You put your close friends on a pedestal so why don’t you do the same for yourself? Give yourself the exact same compliments and love as you do your friends.


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just a girl who loves spreading positivity

29 thoughts on “How To Be Yourself (Even When You Don’t Know Who “You” Is)

  1. “Stop caring how others perceive you” for me that’s the absolute toughest one on the list. I’m far from perfect and that isn’t really the issue, but the core things that are important to me are honesty, loyalty, and trust. So I don’t want people to perceive me as a liar, someone they cant trust, or disloyal to those I care about and who trust in me. Most of this stems from childhood and my mother accusing me of things that were totally outside of my character. Another major thing with this is control. Understanding that I don’t have control over what people believe or see. I only have control over my own actions I’m going to write this down in my journal. This is a great list btw, thank you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great to hear a personal experience of someone BPD. Thank you for sharing. It is always difficult to share your mental health journey/story, but I hope writing/blogging helps. It did for me.


  3. Great post. One thing I took away with me from my recent therapy sessions was a sentence saying “…you don’t ever have to be perfect (no-one is). You have just got to be good enough for yourself”
    It’s something I try to remember when I’m having a bad day xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this! I have Type 1 Diabetes, wear hearing aids, and have anxiety, so I mean, there is that. However, learning to love myself has been a lifelong lesson. The points you make are so, so valid, but also so incredibly hard. The points that resonate the most with me are 2 and 5 and are also some of the more difficult points. I had a couple of friends that I felt like I had to tiptoe around egg shells on. Once I say bye to them, my entire life changed. And #5…. probably the most difficult one.

    Liked by 1 person

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