Hiya! I was lying in bed and I thought of this blog post idea and really did think it was a good idea!? I wanted to do monthly but because I thought of this .. in December, I thought it was pretty pointless to start doing them monthly right at the end of the year! I mean I could but I’m unsure, let me know below if this is something you’d want to read monthly or yearly??
January: A pretty boring month if you ask me. I went to see A Day To Remember in concert, and Neck Deep, Moose Blood and New Found Glory who were supporting them! That gig was awesome, I liked every band there (apart from New Found Glory because I never listened to them prior but now I’m sort of a fan!) so it’s definitely a gig to remember! I went to a party and got completely smashed which is always fun hahaha.
February: I remember going to IKEA a lot this month… I bought a ton of stuff for university in September which is early I know but I like to limit my anxiety where possible and being prepared early for things helps! I went to watch Fifty Shades Darker with a couple of friends and my now ex boyfriend. That was fun. I gained a lot of confidence this month.
March: I went to Handmade Burger Company so so so many times this month. It was kinda ridiculous haha. I saw All Time Low for the third time during this month and met them for the first time. All I can say was meeting them was amazing. My dad always told me that don’t expect much from meeting your idols because they may be twats but they were so so lovely!! At the end of the month I visited my firm choice university, Manchester Metropolitan University. I have already visited there a couple of times before now so I knew I would already love it.
April: I went to a vegan festival at the beginning of the month and it was so good. I got a lot of yummy foods! I got broken up with this month so it’s kind of a blur for me. I was heartbroken (spoiler: still am) I went out drinking the day after the break up and as you can guess, it didn’t end well. Note to everyone reading: don’t mix alcohol and a broken heart. So yeah, not a lot happened this month.
May: May was a little better for me. I spent a lot of time with myself so I realised what I liked and disliked. What made me who I am and what didn’t. It was a good month for self realisation and recovery. I went to another vegan festival, in Stirchley this time! I went on my own to meet a friend that I only met once before which was a big anxiety test but it was a successful one. Also, another anxiety test was that I travelled all the way from Birmingham to London on my own to meet All Time Low again. It was amazing and I definitely know deep down that I can always visit London again on my own.
June: A massive month for me recovering from my eating disorder. I got a hold of the voices in my head telling me not to eat, to lose weight, to excessively exercise and threw them away. It’s not perfect yet but it’s getting there. I also had a lot of exams this month.. ew. But I finally finished college and had the whole summer ahead of me to do nothing but relax. We’ll find out in August if I passed my exams and can go ahead to university or whether I have to stay another year at college. Both options are fine to me. Going to university would be a better option but staying another year at college leads to opportunities of improvement.
July: I didn’t do much this month. At all. Hahaha. Sad thing is I got kinda obsessed with body checking which was a set back. I took the month to realise I was doing something toxic and took the rest of the month to try to prevent me from continuing. It was difficult and I still find myself doing it but set backs come part and parcel with recovery I guess. It was also my college leavers party which meant I officially left college as long as I pass my exams. This was fun and I remember laughing a lot. It felt oddly comforting for me to be back in my college common room. I went to a trampoline park for my friend’s birthday which was super fun! I didn’t think I’d enjoy it that much but I did! Also, on the following Saturday, she had a birthday party at her house. In the last week of the month, I had an assessment at a disability clinic in Birmingham. This is because I was told I could get a grant or further help at university for my anxiety so I went for it. It was unbelievably scary.
August: I started off the month in London. I visited my brother as he lives with his boyfriend just outside of London. We travelled into London every day, apart from Friday when we went to Brighton. On the Wednesday and Thursday, we went to the theatre to see Matilda and Wicked!! I also managed to go to the natural history museum and see 221b Baker Street (if you know, then you know). It was also A-Level results day during the middle of the month too and whilst I didn’t get perfect grades, I got into university! I also hit three bloody years free from self harm (I used to say clean, but I thought free was more fitting) and that’s amazing.
September: I spent majority of the beginning of this month getting prepared for university – spoiler I wasn’t. I bought so much stuff and then moved from Birmingham to Manchester to start my university life. It was both terrifying and exciting. It was also in this same month that I went back home. Weird right? I lasted a couple of weeks at university as I realised it was too much and it ended with me having a complete mental breakdown and relapsing in quite a lot of things. But it’s all cool, as I’m writing this I’m on the right track to where I once was. I went back to college to get some normality back into my life and that helped TONS.
October: I started this month a bit rocky and I drank a lot here. I know in a previous post I did say that I hated alcohol but I seemed to turn a complete 180 and start to enjoy it. I went to a couple of parties and spent most of my weekends pissed. Looking back, it was probably because I was coping with the relapse but at least everything got sorted out. I had another relapse in this month. Terrible I know. I think it was due to the stress of me needing to get better, and it just had the opposite effect. You may have noticed this! I wasn’t really as active on reader as I probably should’ve been. I don’t really have much to revisit over this month because I’ve kinda repressed it oops.
November: This month got a tiny bit better. It is my birthday month so I’m pretty sure it’s the law to have a good month here! I spent a lot of it planning my Blogmas posts which was difficult to say the least. I didn’t want to just repeat last years so I tried to think up 25 more Christmas related posts but I failed, I didn’t do 25 completely Christmas posts but any posts is good enough! I had so much to do. I was celebrating Bonfire Night at the beginning, and then I had a lot of other people’s birthday celebrations and then my own! I went to see Royal Blood which was completely fun!
December: I went to visit my best friend in Swansea at the start of this month! It was a massive test for my anxiety but ya girl did it. It was fun and we spent a lot of time together like we used to before she went off to university! Blogmas started in this month. By far the best fun I’ve ever had. I had such a good time letting my creativity run while in December. It snowed!!!!! It never snows in December in the UK where I’m from. It’s always the New Year side of winter. I celebrated Christmas and went to my auntie and uncle’s anniversary party on Boxing Day. I had a pretty chill month after this – until New Years when I went out for the first time ever!!!! I’ve never been out for New Years and it was an incredible experience.
Conclusion: My year wasn’t too bad. It had a lot of rocky moments along the way but I got through them didn’t I?? I think that’s an important thing to remember if you’ve gone through troubled times, that you’re still here in one piece and THAT’S FUCKING FAB.
I hope you are having a lovely New Year and I’ll see you next time.