Hiya! Heartbreak is something I know all too well. Unfortunately for me, I know a little bit when it comes to getting over someone. SOOO, I thought I’d give you a couple tips on how to do it, because someone out there may need this help.
1. Don’t consider it a loss on your behalf, it’s theirs. This works wonders for me because before, I used to think if I broke up with someone, it was me who would be hurt. Even if you don’t know for sure, assume they are hurt and that it’s their loss for your relationship coming to an end. To be honest, it is their loss – imagine losing you. Them walking out on you is their mistake and it’s nothing to do with you. Pity their loss.
2. Distract yourself. Hang out with friends. Go shopping. Start a new TV series. Do anything to distract yourself because being alone with your thoughts is absolutely horrible. The key is to not dwell on the past and instead, focus on the present and your future.
3. Trust that your future will surprise you. I went through a phase (and still am going through it in all honesty) that I would never find someone who would love me as much as my ex looked like he did, but your future may surprise you. There’s millions of people out there and there’s not just one person out there for everyone. But try not to look for love because that’s only gonna be you filling a gap and that never ends well.
4. Allow yourself to be sad. I know people say don’t get sad over someone because it means they won, but honestly allow yourself to feel sad emotions. My last break up I gave myself a couple of days to mope around, crying my eyes out under a blanket watching sad movies but as soon as those days were up, I told myself I had to step the fuck up and know my worth. But you do have moments of weakness and some days, I am still a little bit sad over a break up. It’s part and parcel with losing someone you love, you don’t just get over it overnight.
5. One thing I’m really guilty of is thinking they’ll come back. Let go of that belief. If you assume they are gonna come back to you, you won’t truly get over the heartbreak and “loss”. Tell yourself that even if they do come back, it’s over. Yes I know you can’t predict what’s gonna happen in the future and you may truly believe they are your soul mate but don’t hang onto such hope. If they come back and you want them back, then that’s okay but don’t expect it.
6. Get rid of things that remind you of them. I know you may love that jumper that they left at your house one day but it’s only causing you harm. Throw it out. I’m in the process of this. Every single thing. Presents, clothes, you name it. Even if you do think you use it every day, you can just replace it if you have the money to do so. Keeping things that hold a little part of them in, is just leaving a little part of them in your life and you don’t need that!
7. Be patient. Getting over someone doesn’t always take a day or a week. Everyone is different and it may be months before you find yourself losing your feelings for them. It doesn’t mean you’re weird for not moving on yet. Once when I was in high school, I was sad over my ex around a week or two after we broke up and I remember my friend saying, “Why aren’t you over them yet?! It’s been ages”. That’s not something you want to hear is it? Everyone has different grieving periods and you deserve to take as long as you want.
I hope this helps someone, even a little bit. Please leave a comment below if you want me to help with anything – I may not be great at advice but I can listen and provide support.