Hiya! I know I do quite a few mental health related but excuse me when I say, this is a bit of a different one.
I was scrolling through Twitter earlier today and I saw something innocently tweet that they didn’t think their mental health problems were that bad and never understood why someone would class them as hard work and as soon as I saw this tweet, my hand hit my head so fast. Whilst yes, I’m so happy that person doesn’t have debilitating mental health problems, it was just a bit unnecessary for them to wonder why someone would struggle.
Before I had any mental health problems, or was aware I had them, I myself never knew how bad they would be. I was shamefully that “just be happy” or “calm down” person. I say shamefully incredibly heavy because it makes me cringe writing that I was once like that. But I guess now that I struggle, I understand all too well.
I guess I’ll just go straight to why mental illnesses are hard work. Let’s just say, you have a list full of things that you need to do today. Scrap that, you’re only going to do half, no matter how hard you try. I plan out my day around my illnesses and not because I am becoming them, simply because they make me so tired and so weak that I can’t help but plan it out.
My anxiety injures me on the daily. Waking up and getting ready for the day leads to me already feeling fatigued. Why? Because guaranteed during that time I have panicked, cried and overthought the entire situation. Having a simple shower ends up with having a shower with the overwhelming, intrusive thoughts of someone breaking in the house whilst I’m in a shower, me slipping and hitting my head whilst being in the shower which would lead to me probably drowning or whatever thought has entered my head that day. Continuing the day with similar situations leads to me feeling incredibly tired, maybe too much.
Couple this with another three mental illnesses, and you’re fucked.
So yes, mental illnesses can be incredibly hard work because not only do you have to struggle with the symptoms, you have to also battle them. You have to fight your illnesses and hope that one day they go away and that’s probably the most difficult. Even if they don’t, you still somehow need to try and manage them.
Please let me know if you agree with me in any way! Would feel nice to not feel so alone with all of it haha!