Hiya! It’s been a while since I’ve actually wrote a blog post as I’ve been without wifi for quite some time but luckily, I did have a lot of blog posts planned which I just scheduled for upload as and when! However, I am back and better than ever writing blog posts for you guys (if anyone is actually reading these)
Also, heads up. When I wrote this a few weeks back, I was dating someone. Now I’m no longer in a relationship but I thought this blog post was going to benefit someone so I am still going ahead and posting it. All of my points are still the same, but it’s just I am no longer dating the boyfriend I mention in this post.
Falling in love is hard for anyone in this day and age. BUT. Falling in love with anxiety, in my eyes could be even harder. Falling in love with the overwhelming need to please your loved one, urge to overthink every given situation which leads to you thinking your loved one no longer loves you etc etc, is not at all easy.
I tend to overthink myself into situations that are unlikely to happen in the real world, the world if my anxiety was not existing. For example, I force myself to believe numerous times a day that my boyfriend is just putting up with me because he feels sorry for me, when this really is not the case. I hope.
It’s hard because I know my thinking is irrational and extra but that still doesn’t stop me from thinking those things may possibly happen. I know my boyfriend loves me and if he didn’t want to be with me, then he would tell me BUT again. that still does not stop me thinking “well what if?”
Alas, I’m lucky enough to have a partner that understands that I’m like this and why I am so it’s a teeny tiny bit easier. I’m also lucky enough to have some element of confidence where if I believe (or my anxiety believes) there is an issue, I will confront it head on most days. It’s always the case that it’s just my anxiety making me assume these situations are occuring rather than there actually being a fault in my relationship.
Anxiety and love can be very different but if you love the right person, it can become easier.. much easier. I’d like to think that it would become easier in time because my brain will come to understand that my boyfriend does love me and does want to be with me but until then, he will just have to bare with me. AND if you are in this situation yourself, I’m sure your partner will too!