This is a thing that every person tends to struggle with, mainly because we live in a society where any kind of weight has a negative connotation associated with it. Now, being a person who is still recovering from an eating disorder, it’s a constant struggle for me to deal with the fact I am gaining weight and associating that weight with positivity – BECAUSE I’M HEALTHY.
I’m not saying I’m gaining weight in the masses, meaning gaining a stone every week or less but me gaining as little as a pound a month could be seen as a struggle. Especially if I’m having a particularly tough time in general. To someone who isn’t in recovery for any form of disordered eating, a pound may be nothing to you. However, as I am still battling the thoughts in my head that are telling me it’s a big deal, it may sometimes feel like a big deal. Some days it may not, some days it will feel like my life is ruined.
Seeing the weight gain is hard for anyone, but for someone who is used to wanting to lose weight, suddenly gaining it is difficult.
The main thing I like to tell myself is that the number on the scale doesn’t mean shit. Cliche – I know but hear me out! If you really think about it, that specific number doesn’t have any effect on your life or you as a person. It won’t make you a better person. If the number has increased or not, it will not make you a nicer person or even smarter. It’s literally just a number on the scale and nothing more.
Another thing is that, my weight gain is nothing but for my health. Although you may not feel or see it, the weight gain you are witnessing is purely just for your health. You aren’t going to gain masses amounts of weight just for eating one meal, or two meals or even three. That won’t happen. But anyway, focus on something else. Focus on accepting your own body and liking it. It’s difficult as hell but when you get there, you won’t even bother thinking about losing or gaining weight. You’ll just be content and focusing on being happy.
I’m not telling you if you follow these steps, you’ll be 100% recovered and won’t even think about the negative stuff which is related to weight. Because recovery is a journey, a self journey and you can’t achieve it by just following some steps that some random girl has given you on the internet. They may help you along the way but they won’t be the only thing you have to do. There is no magical solution and I really really wish there was but it’s a long ass journey.
If you need anyone to talk to, please talk to me. I would really hate someone to suffer alone with this.