I know too well what it is like to break up from someone you love dearly and struggle for months on end to come to terms with it. I only wish I had tips to follow, that weren’t the most cliche kind.
A break up is like experiencing a small death in your own body. It doesn’t matter if it was a long term relationship or a short one – you’ll still feel pain once they are gone. Feeling sorry for yourself for a short while is deemed okay but apparently, after a while you should just be over them – as if it were magic. That’s what I was told anyway. Don’t let people dictate you on how long you should be sad over a break up.
For one, DON’T PUSH YOURSELF TO GET OVER IT. Believe me, I lived in denial for a good month or so saying I was already over it and was ready to move on. I really wasn’t. For me, my relationship ended on anger and super bad reasoning so my reaction was understandable, doesn’t it was right though. Fair enough, you are no longer in that relationship but that doesn’t mean your feelings died with it. It meant a great deal to you, so it’s going to take time to heal. If you push yourself too hard, it’ll do more harm than good.
I was friends with a girl who constantly moaned at me for not being over my ex, which led me to believe I should be by then. Bearing in mind, this was a week or so after the break up. Leading up to this point, I was angry so so angry about it because he hurt me. But I saw him when I was walking out of class this one time and I broke down. My friend didn’t console me, she just kinda said ”that’s a bit pathetic lol” which did so so much harm. But yah, moral of the story is to take your mind, your own mind.
ANOTHER THING, find yourself. This is so so cliche and cringe I know but please bare with me!! During a relationship, ”I” goes to ”We”, ”Me” changes to ”Us” etc etc. Now you’re out of that relationship and chances are, you’ve changed. Whether it be a 10 year relationship or a year one, you’re going to have changed. Go out and explore, even though you may not want to and discover things you like. During my relationship, I was going through my emo phase and was ready to come out and now, I’m so so into pastels and pinks which is something completely different from before.
Finally, realise your self worth. The relationship ending was bad and you cried, they probably cried etc etc. Now remember, you’re worth better than this. The relationship ended, doesn’t mean your life did. You’re a fab fab fab person and they lost out on that AND that’s not your problem. Everyone has bad and toxic relationship stories, and guess what??? Everyone gets past them. You aren’t going to be sad over them forever and it’s going to be fine.
I really hope you are okay.