Bad days are things that happen to everyone. They are so common, whether it be you having a cry every now and then or you having a complete mental breakdown.
Unfortunately, for me – they are always the latter. There are days when I simply cannot participate in life and my life always comes crashing down on me so very quickly. Personally, I have such a good life physically, I have money, family and food on my plate. I probably have the life many people envy.
But mentally is the complete opposite.
I’ve been in recovery for just over three years now which is such a long time and I’m so deeply proud of myself. Alas, this doesn’t mean I cannot have bad days. My bad days are so frequent lately. So frequent, I can barely hear myself think.
I don’t know what to think or do anymore. It’s come to a point where life seems almost unbearable and I possibly won’t make it through this certain day.
I know, you have to experience bad days to appreciate the good ones. But how can you appreciate the good ones when you are so so scared for the next bad day which is evidently around the corner? It is just so tiring.
I’m not making this for any kind of sympathy because that’s quite frankly the last thing I need or want right now. I just think people need to understand everyone has bad days and you are totally not out of the ordinary for suffering bad days every now and then. And of course you are not relapsing.
Believe me, many a days I begin to panic because I think I’m reverting to my old self when that is honestly not happening. It’s just a bad day. You have to remember you are a human and you will experience bad days. Maybe so many bad days or maybe one bad day every so often.
If you experience bad days and you are frightened that they are starting to take over your life, please remember that even if today is the most difficult day of your life, tomorrow it will be over.
Please stay safe x